I N S A N T I D A D

2009-09-15T07:20:00.001-07:00

you need to dig deeper
far beyond the ribs
past the heart
you need to bury you fingers into the flesh
feel it and smell its rancid smell
nevermind the blood spurting from every hole
...in time, with any luck, it'll drown us all

2009-05-05T12:11:00.000-07:00

if i had a heart

i’d give it to you

wrapped as a present in a fist of blood...

...that’s what i dream

when i dream

about you

what is there to know?

2009-04-27T07:21:00.001-07:00

"that's life", they say "that's how it is"
people come and go, you just have to keep on going
but every person that comes inside me leaves with a piece of my flesh
and i'm weary
i don't want to be made of pieces anymore
of memories
of someone who came and left
i don't want to look inside myself; i'm afraid to find they haven't left anything behind
only scraps of what i used to be

2009-04-03T12:25:00.000-07:00

he knew it; deep inside he knew it
doors would never be completely closed, no matter how hard he tried
she was caged in a room with walls on all sides and, even so,
light was coming out... there would never be complete darkness

sin título

2009-03-26T09:23:00.000-07:00

ahora colecciono fragmentos de mi vida para ti,
mi pequeña habitante
antes he invitado a que se pierdan en mis calles
que se escondan en los callejones
que jueguen, a fin de cuentas, en este laberinto

pero saberse perdido produce una cierta sensación de vértigo
yo sólo puedo enseñártela…
que quieras compartirla conmigo,
dar vueltas y vueltas… hasta caer borrachos,
depende de ti
bajo mi sonrisa, que tanto te gusta, debes saber leer muy bien
“abandone toda esperanza, aquel que aquí entre”

untitled

2009-02-19T14:39:00.001-08:00

demons live inside me
mostly they like to watch, they are among the most beautiful enthusiasts of voyeurism
but, from time to time, they like to go out and amuse themselves
they are into bathing in someone else's blood
they are into sucking someone else's odds and ends
they are into a lot of things i don't like to tell
because i like to do them myself

untitled

2009-02-18T18:13:00.001-08:00

in time blood doesn't hurt
it dries and sticks like any other stain
it's red beauty long gone
exactly like what i used to be
exactly like what I'm now

untitled

2009-02-18T18:03:00.000-08:00

is it me, in tiny places?
why don't just fade away, peacefully
blown by the wind with no direction
no other drive but the movement itself
drifting in waves of blind intention

untitled

2009-01-10T08:39:00.000-08:00

Everything we were
Everything that meant something
Every moment
was slowly fading
Like old memories from a stray past
There was no more edges to grasp or hang on
I wished we could linger
But I knew it was the shape of lost hopes hiding behind me

End

2008-12-28T23:58:00.000-08:00

The world should crumble, and bury us all
so we can finally rest

Our shattered bones could at last disappear in tiny pieces
turning into dust, there is an end

We can endure whatsoever
Those alive and forgotten are always too hard to drive

Maybe it's our nature,
maybe we're just insane

Satan Behind Me

2008-12-24T14:12:00.000-08:00

you won't disappear, the butterflies will wither and die,
and there won't be peace
I am chaos, and darkness
and I only wait for the world to tear apart
if only the knife could cut your skin in half, so I can see through ourselves
but I don't want to
I've become one with the devil, and so you shall name me
for I have lost hope
and I have lost love
and everything

...

2008-11-09T21:09:00.001-08:00

I’ve heard there’s a place
where people go when they don’t know what else to do
I can’t tell you how to get there
I have no directions or address
I can only tell you to follow that road
and get lost... lost into the night
you’ll find it, I know you will
you’ll know it when you see the neon lights...

Last Hope Motel: Eraser.

2008-09-22T16:30:00.000-07:00

Outside, the clapping thunder announces a storm's coming. Soon it'll be here. Its noise is starting to get to my nerves... to think I came here in the first place because of the city's unbearable noise. I can't work with it. The big city and its highways always consumed in traffic jams, sidewalks crowded with people talking unceasingly, kids on every park crying and laughing loudly, the sky obscured by its tall skyscrapers and airplanes... it's so fucking irritating...

And just when you'd think that going to the desert -where there's literally no one- would relieve you of the city's noises, then you have to face a storm, and a big one. The rain’s already starting to pound hard against the cheap ceiling.

"You'll be just fine, you're going to love the desert's landscape, it'll be nice and quiet" said the stupid cow back home. She even made the reservation for this cheap motel, couldn't she've found a worst place? Anyhow, I've brought everything I could possibly need to work here, from my notebook computer to my espresso machine and coffee brand. "You're exaggerating,” she said. Well, I don't give a fuck what she says. Anyway, everything's set up. I've been working non-stop for the last couple of hours. If it weren't for that goddamn storm it would be perfect...

Holy shit what was that! All the lights went out... I'll be damned if a lightning struck the fucking place! Shit I don't know when was the last fucking time I saved! Fuck! Don't panic, don't panic... Sure it's a momentary thing, the place should have an auxiliary power plant for these kind of situations... Oh God, please tell me I didn't lose those last hours of work, please, please! When did I save for the last time? If I were back home she'd be all over me bitchin' "I told ya! I told ya to always save after you finish a draft". I know that's what she'd be bitchin' over and over, like that's gonna make any difference at all... Why aren't the lights back on already? Isn't there a fucking janitor around!? I try to reach for the phone but I accidentally spill the coffee all over the table. Fuck! I can't see a fucking thing, just glimpses when lighting flashes... Damn it! I spilled the coffee all over the keyboard. It turns off. Desperately I take my shirt off to try and clean up the fucking mess... Then the lights are back on.

In an act of stupidity I don’t wait for the inner circuits to fully dry and go ahead and try to turn it back on; it doesn’t. Instead it starts to smell like something’s burnt. I grab my head between my hands. I need to calm down and think clearly. I can’t stay here anymore; I need to get that computer fixed. I can’t afford to lose all the information stored there, I can’t loose all the hours worth of work… or I’m fired. Hell, I’m fucked…

Outside the storm roars angry. It’s gonna be dangerous to drive with this weather, but I have to give it a try… I hastily pack everything and get ready to leave. Then the lights are out again. Fuck! With the lighting flashes as my only guide I make it to the lobby. It’s flooded; there’s no one. I don’t bother to call someone for the check out, it’s not like I’m paying for this shit. They can sue me later if they want to. I push the entrance door. It’s difficult to open with all the mud blocking it. As I open it more water floods the Motel’s first floor. I finally exit... and… and I can’t believe my eyes: my car, apparently the only one left in the parking lot, lies submerged in the mud like it were a crashed plane, its nose deeply buried into the ground and its rear high against the sky.

This is madness… it’s like this accursed damn place hates me…

I… I can’t take it… I just can’t… I can’t take it anymore. Tears of rage begin to run down my eyes. Instinctively, my hands let go off my baggage. I don’t give a shit anymore. I open my briefcase in search of my Glock 9mm. It’s loaded and I’m ready. I shot the car’s trunk open. Inside there’s an emergency gas can I take with me. I feel like killing somebody, anybody… I go back inside.

Last Hope Motel: Pitch Black.

2008-07-13T08:09:00.000-07:00

I wake up in the middle of the night, scared, crying, my nerves shattered... I can't see a thing, I find it hard to breath, I cough... I can't stop crying... It takes me a while to remember where I am as my eyes slowly adjust themselves to the darkness... I recognize the broken TV set and the paint falling from the dirty walls and I remember I'm here, lying in the bed of a forgotten motel room in the middle of nowhere... then I remember everything...

I was torn apart a night like any other, at the age of fourteen. That night I was walking down the street like I always used to. Then four men raised from the dark, unseen. They hastily took my clothes off and put a bag on my head. They pushed me and I fell on my back against the pavement, with my underwear down my ankles. They almost beat me senseless. They spread my legs and one by one let me feel their weight all over me... inside me. I couldn't scream; I didn't make a sound.

I recall everything that happened on that night, like still photographs from a sad movie, second by second playing in my mind.

So I wake up crying in the middle of the night, not knowing why. I find myself in complete darkness, so I suddenly realize the bag´s again on my head. I try hysterically to stop them, to repel them, not wanting to be hurt any more... but it´s too late... they fuck me every time they want; they come and go in and out of my soul every time they want.
Sometimes I smell their foul breath intoxicating the air. It might happen in the middle of a sunny day, and I know it´s absurd, but the smell just won´t leave me... so I start crying in panic, fearing they´re behind me, again, waiting for me to turn back and start it all over from the beginning... It doesn't matter, they don´t need me to turn around, not even touch me, to fuck me.

Last Hope Motel: Devourer

2008-01-18T08:36:00.000-08:00

The blood dries in my mouth while the tiny scraps of flesh lie scattered on the blankets. As I look away the sunlight slowly leaves the room through the window throwing me into this darkness, a darkness only lit by the neon sign outside... Tomorrow there won't be a beautiful dawn to stare at, the same way as there won't be someone to share this cold and cloudy night.

It was supposed to be perfect, I know. After you helped me run away from my home there was nothing that could get between us... except ourselves.
I shouldn't have left you, but I panicked. I'm aware I'm just a stupid little girl for running away... I feel so miserable for hurting you...

...I take another bite ripping off a little more skin...

I think of you often. I want to see you again, to hold you... my fingers dial your number with a will of their own, but I can't bring myself to talk to you 'cause I know you're never coming back with me; not since I left in the middle of the night, scared of committing to you...

Now I have nowhere to go; I have no family and no lover; there's no one to look after me. This anxiety's driving me mad... The only thing I do is sit on this corner and eat my fingernails, desperately... what am I saying? I ate my fingernails already... so I've began to tear the flesh off my fingers... if only the pain and the taste of blood in my mouth could cast away this emptiness I'm feeling...

...In this motel days go by one after another monotonously... and I can't sleep with you still living inside of me...

Last Hope Motel: Memories.

2008-01-01T14:37:00.000-08:00

I’ve been driving for hours, wandering. Suddenly I see a diner at the side of the road. I park my car and go inside. The place's gloomy and dirty, like if it were abandoned years ago... it feels so lonely... there's only another customer beside me; I can't see him clearly but he appears to be an old man. I sit down and order a lime pie; I’m asked in return where I’m heading. “I don’t know” I answer. The old waitress goes to the counter to get my pie and comes back with it. “Well my dear, If you follow that road, after a couple hours you’ll see neon lights in the horizon. If you don’t know where to go, go there” she says with an afflicted grimace.

I ask her for a pencil and a piece of paper; she kindly hands them to me. I start writing: “So here I am, writing this letter to you. I haven’t done this in a while… I don’t recall the last time I wrote a letter to anyone… I never wrote you a letter... It doesn’t matter anyway.

I miss you so much... I miss the way your harsh look can be so sweet as soon as your funny dimple shows up on your left cheek everytime you smile, the tender way your hands touch me and how you always stare at me; God, I felt so loved and secure when you did that... the way you hug me... This isn't good, thinking about all that... I’m growing weary of looking at your photographs and paintings and listening to the music we enjoyed so much together; it hurts me, it keeps me thinking about you. All the good things, everything that was great between you and me is killing me… killing me very slowly, like a stake to the heart gently driven into my chest.

I don’t know why I’m writing this. Since you ran away nobody knows where you are so the most probable thing is that you’ll never read this… Where are you? You only left a good-bye note. I’ve looked everywhere, I’ve asked everyone; but you’re nowhere to be found and no one knows of your whereabouts. It’s like you had entirely disappeared from the land of the living. Was it so bad with me? Were our differences so contradictory? Weren’t you happy with me after I did everything to please you? Or is that you found another girl, someone better, prettier? If that’s so why didn’t you tell me? It'd hurt less; it'd be a lot easier to get over you if you would've had the decency to tell me what the hell happened!

*I sigh exhausted*

I think maybe I’ll disappear too. Everything reminds me of you. Your presence's everywhere in my room; it’s in the pillows and in the closet; it’s in my clothes and in my underwear… Damn it, I fear it’s even inside of me!

I need to get away from here. I need to breathe another air that isn’t yours… It’s a shame I didn’t write this letter earlier, before leaving home; I’d have left it on the bed where you made love to me so many times. In that way if someone ever came looking for me he’d know I went away looking for some mysterious neon lights”.

It's getting darker, I'd better be going.

Last Hope Motel: Dead End.

2007-11-26T11:27:00.000-08:00

Right now I'm drunk. It's 4 a.m. and I'm driving nowhere. The night's cool and quiet; I'm not. I go as fast as I can wishing maybe a rabbit or the jackal chasing it will get caught in the headlights making my reflexes spring into action, making me turn the steering wheel violently in the hopes that the little animal won't be just another innocent victim, like myself... the scared little creep looking back at me, standing in the middle of the highway frozen in fear; then my reaction and then this car bouncing out of control until it crashes against a cactus tree. Away from everything there'd be no help... it'll be a lonely, painful and slow death. I can see it a thousand times in my mind... but, am I not already dying?

This thing I'm feeling... at first I thought it was rage... now I know it's not rage, is frustration... in the end, just sadness... plain and simple, dark and blue sadness; just like this desert.

Looking into the rearview mirror I can see how everything´s changed, despite we promised each other it never would. Things doesn't work all the time; I stopped caring some time ago. She was my life, now there's nothing left.

What's that? Are those neon lights? I fear I'm coming closer at an increasing speed. I don't recognize the distance between things anymore, and I don't really care: the bottle of gin at my side has taken care of it. Suddenly it's too late when I realize I'm driving my car directly against a building, a motel of sorts. I don't bother to close my eyes and wait for the collision. If this is the end, it'd make a good death. I'm almost there where I finally die nailed to a wall, crushed inside my car's cabin. I can't wait for the impact. I resist once again the urge to close my eyes, the thrill exciting the liquor in my blood, my heart pumping faster and faster... but then reality loses its grip on me as I break through the motel as if it were an illusion, its walls made of the same fabrics dreams are made of. Instead of crashing against it I found out the place rests at the end of a cliff which sends me flying away into the darkness of whatever lies beyond the end of the world.

Last Hope Motel: The Ferryman.

2007-11-09T06:59:00.001-08:00

Ever since she died I have longed to linger. The cancer devoured her slowly and sorely consuming us both until there was neither flesh nor blood to hold on to.
I survived to her only for our children; to see them grow strong and happy. We worked it out as a family led by her loving memory. We grew closer to each other, giving comfort to ourselves.

We had to somehow fill the empty space left by her death.

For quite a while it was OK. Our children needed me and I was always there for them. But now that has changed, they have grown strong and happy, and just like that they have left home to pursue their own future; a future where I am too old and lonely to wish to live.

I go back to those years and it feels like they had never happened, just like some kind of dream; a bad dream as it feels now.

I have saved an obolus for Khárôn to take me to the other side of the river´s flow. I have decided I do not want him to take me here in our home. I would like to embark on my journey somewhere else far away from here, away from everything. A place where I have never been before, where I can finally rest as I am, as a forgotten old man.

Last Hope Motel: Orphanage.

2007-10-10T08:35:00.000-07:00

Mom and dad left some time ago. They told me they needed to spend some "quality time" together, or something. I miss them; I’ve never been away from them for so long, it’s like time had swallowed them whole. They didn’t gave me an address nor telephone number to contact them. If I could just hear their voice, know they're fine, anything! Why haven’t they called?! Are they ever coming back?!
I skipped school this morning because I wanted to look for them, and find they’re OK. I’m not sure why, but somehow I feel they need me, like they’re calling me.
I’ve been riding my bike all day with no certain direction; and yet I've got this strange feeling I'm getting closer and closer, and as this feeling grows, so does the coldness... real weird stuff... like if I had went through some kind of barrier, a frontier between me and I don’t know what... like I said, weird stuff, kinda creepy.
Mmm... there’s something bright in the distance: it's neon lights. Maybe a motel?, like the ones alongside roads in the desert... only this one isn't at the side of the road, it's its end.
Anyway, I'd better get there fast, before I freeze to death.

Last Hope Motel: Lost Hope Motel.

2007-09-16T14:41:00.000-07:00

"That’s life" they say, "that’s the way it is". Well, I decided life doesn’t have to be like that. When I first made it to this motel I took out that piece of meat they call heart, with a fist wrapped in blood. I needed to get away from everything; even from myself.
I put it in a drawer. Sometimes I place it on the table and stare at it. Strange as it is, it still beats... even though I cannot feel anything.
Now there’s no place to run, no way to hide; and no need to. I’m no longer human, I’ve become something else entirely: I’m a walking corpse. And they’re aware of my presence; I know it because they step away from me. It’s like the coldness of my body frightens them. Maybe they’re afraid of becoming like me, maybe they think I could harm them if they come near me.

It doesn’t matter anymore; nothing can stop me now; they can’t hurt me ever again.

Last Hope Motel: Asphyxia.

2007-09-12T17:50:00.000-07:00

My eyes slowly open and the blurred images regain some of their form. Where am I? This looks like a motel room, no doubt about it... Damn, this hangover's gonna kill me... Mmm, where is the girl I shagged last night? Where was I last night and with whom? Hard to remember right now, but whoever she was has already left.
As I stumble around the place's furniture the memories of last night resist to show up; instead, flashbacks of my life haunt me. I make it to the bathroom. My toothbrush, shaver, lotions and creams are organized exactly the same way I have them arranged back in my crib. I run to the closet and find all of my clothing nice and clean. How much time have I spent in this place?
I need a bath. Inside the bathtub there are my soap and shampoo brands, as back home. This place... What the hell?! I wasn't here last night! Oh! My head... I can't even scream inside my head... all this is too strange... I think I'm gonna be sick.
I put my pijamas on and exit the room. The corridor is desolated. I go downstairs; there's no one in the lobby. Checking the record books I find my registration entry, it was last night... Where the fuck am I?... nothing makes sense...

Last Hope Motel: Expectations.

2007-09-10T17:05:00.000-07:00

His last words before hanging up were "I'll meet you there". So now I'm looking for this place, though I really feel it's calling me. I have no address, at least not a real one, only directions, signs, indications on where to turn and where to go straight. But then, I can't help the feeling I'm going in circles.
I can't wait to see him again, to hold him and kiss him. We've grown so distant over the last few months... I just want this last chance to make things right, to erase the mistakes of the past and build a better future for us both. I love him so much I can't really explain what has happened between us... sometimes I fear it's someone else, but what really terrifies me is, well, it's me... What if it's all my fault? What if it's me who's grown distant? What if I'm not enough? I can only wish he can forgive me as I have forgiven him...
At last! "The neon lights in the distance," just as they said back in town! I'm so excited I can't wait! Is he already there waiting for me? Has he chosen a nice and cozy room? Gosh, my belly's full of butterflies!

Last Hope Motel: No Vacancy.

2007-09-08T23:48:00.000-07:00

The rain won't stop falling. Right now it feels like forever. I think I've been moving in circles for too long. This damn rain, I can't see a thing. Somewhere in the distance there are neon lights: it's a motel for sure.
As I keep going the rain has already made it through my clothes. I'm soaking wet when I finally make it there. As I thought, it's a motel. I enter only to find there aren't any rooms left. With no other choice I hang the wet clothes and hit the bar.
People come and go without notice in these places, so I figure -if I hang around I may get a room, sooner than later-.
Inside the bar the place is deserted, except for a strange guy in a corner drinking in silence. I sit down and wait... I don't know what I´m waiting for, but I have nothing else to do than wait.
Time goes by and I can't do anything but watch it drown in an endless moment... Where am I? I've never been here before... it's that why I feel so lost? My chest, it's like someone beat it with a hammer. I can't breath, I'm suffocating... what is this place? Oh God, please tell me it isn't Hell.

Last Hope Motel: Room for Two.

2007-09-07T09:00:00.000-07:00

Back then, when we married -even before- when we where hanging out, he always used to hold my hand. No matter where we went, no matter where we were, with friends or all by ourselves, he'd always hold my hand. Now he's just a shape beside me. I think I don't love him anymore and it doesn't even make me sad. Is this what hate is all about?

I don't know for how long I can take it. "This is our last chance, to make things right, to go back to what we used to be", she said while making the reservations to this motel we're heading. "It'll be our second honey moon, it'll be great, you'll see", she continued. Well, the truth is, I can't see anything in this fog. We almost crashed some kilometers back. She stared back at me with judging eyes, like it was all my fault... This place better be a bomb, 'cause I really don't know how long I can take it.

To think we were so happy... what happened? We have a son, he always wanted a boy, now he has it... Isn't that enough? God, what am I thinking... what was I thinking when I decided to come to this place... If he'd just hurry, I feel so uncomfortable in this car.

She's so selfish. She's always expecting something from me; from everyone. I'm the one who has to carry with all the weight of this relationship, of this marriage... That word... its sound is no longer familiar. We've talked about divorce already. And my boy... she wouldn't say it, but she's been clear enough about it: she won't let me have him; I can have everything else, the house, the car, whatever I want, but not him... She might be sitting next to me -quiet and beautiful- looking at the desert through the window, but I can't recognize her anymore, she's like someone else... and I am so lonely right now...

Last Hope Motel: Vacancy.

2007-09-06T12:40:00.000-07:00

So I find myself walking again on this road. It's a lost highway I've heard.
It must be true: I never seem to get nowhere, for no matter how many times I've tried, I've always failed.
It's only after -I don't know how long- that I reach the only construction a desert this cold and dark blue can offer. It's a motel, the neon sign reads. I enter to see if there are any rooms available.
I feel at home here. Here I'm lonely no more; I'm alone. A room is waiting for me, and here I'll stay... until the broken pieces stop falling apart, so I can put back my skin on; until everything starts to make sense again, so I can tell my mind where to go.
Within these walls it's warm. Now I can rest and have some sleep, swimming in dreams. Then I'll go downstairs and sit at the bar. In silence I'll have my drink. Talking to nobody I'll stare back at them, and they'll feel my gaze.
Eventually someone is going to look back at me, and I'll be waiting for her. I can see her turning around and smiling because she has found me among the crowd... I know she's coming someday to this place. Everyone who is lost finds her way here. She can't miss it: it's the building with the neon sign at the end of the road, near the edge of the cliff.
Till' then I'll remain here, lying down. The voice inside my head telling me I don't want to be hurt again will slowly start to fade... then we'll find ourselves in each other's arms, beside solitude and tranquility.

sin título

2007-09-02T13:45:00.000-07:00

¿cómo ahogar los sentimientos sin morir con ellos?

solo

2007-08-24T12:23:00.000-07:00

a medida que me alejo puedo sentir cada vez, más y más
cómo las partes de lo que alguna vez fuí caen fragmentándose en mil pedazos
esta tristeza desbordante es lo que queda de nosotros
tú has desaparecido en una noche odiosa y sin sueño
yo, mientras tanto, espero a que una mañana la marea se lo lleve todo por fin

de la tragedia del amor

2007-08-09T07:52:00.000-07:00

Amada mía,

Hace tiempo ya que nuestros cuerpos se enfrían en una noche que se manifiesta larga y terrible. La ausencia de tu alma se me antoja invivible, y paso mis horas pensando en tu recuerdo. Busco en mis pensamientos, en vano, el calor que me brindabas en las largas horas; busco por todas partes una manera de curar este quebranto, esta distancia ominosa que nos separa, aunque ya en el fondo de mi corazón sé que mis deseos son fútiles.

La bendición de Dios, que con su luz iluminó todos nuestros días, se ha apartado de mi vida para dejarme sumido en las tinieblas. Me parecen lejanas y ajenas nuestras mañanas dedicadas a su enaltecimiento, y temo miserablemente por mi destino, ahora que me sé ignominioso a su mirada. Rezo inconsolablemente por una salvación, porque ante mí se dibuje un camino que me muestre la salida a esta desmesurada sed que me acecha y no deja en paz.
Oh! La sed, si tan sólo pudiera saciarla, calmarla! Lo he intentado, por tu amor, por la gloria de Dios, pero es más fuerte que la tentación que sufrieron Adán y Eva en los jardines del paraíso. Deambulo en las noches por los cementerios, con la esperanza de encontrar allí, entre los huesos, la compañía que no encuentro ya en el mundo de los vivos. Soy un monstruo! Una criatura vil que roba en las noches la vida de quienes aún experimentan la dicha divina de la gracia de nuestro Señor! Me aborrezco y temo a la vez. Ya ni siquiera me reconozco, pues me ha sido vetada hasta la felicidad de ver mi rostro en un espejo. Mi compañía son la oscuridad y las lápidas, los susurros de la muerte y los aullidos de los lobos. No entiendo cómo todo aquello que espantaba y apesadumbraba mi espíritu es lo único que me libra de la soledad amarga y cruel; lo único que no ha cambiado es mi amor por ti.

Si tan sólo pudieras estar tú conmigo! Sostener mi mano y juntos recorrer entre estatuas de ángeles y mausoleos de nuevo la senda de nuestro amor! Pero no! No! Mi amor por ti es demasiado grande, mis sentimientos demasiado fuertes para permitirme siquiera fantasear con una noche en la que compartas toda esta miseria. Por mis venas corre la sangre de extraños, hombres y mujeres, que se entregaron indefensos a mi abrazo y ante él sucumbieron. De idéntica manera me rindo yo, cuando saboreo en mis labios y se desliza dulce por mi garganta este vino impuro.

Te escribo esta carta rebosante de dolor, luego de haber probado la amargura de la peste en mis propios labios, y abrazado siervos, villanos, nobles y bandidos. Esta situación me impide acariciarte de nuevo, considerando esta calamitosa condición. Son extrañas las maneras del Señor; la justicia como la entendí alguna vez no existe; ahora soy la causa del miedo y la superstición que nos abordó por años. Nunca miré al sol con temor, y gozaba de su luz y calor. Extraño no poder volver a hacerlo, y más áun, saber que en ése entonces tenía la posibilidad, como tú la tienes ahora, únicamente que ya no podemos compartirla.
Si tan sólo pudiera hacerte entender... ahora no me importa que estuvieras en un duelo eterno entre el pecado de Eva y la santidad de María. Dios así nos hizo, y así te he amado, a pesar del riesgo de salir herido como finalmente sucedió, aunque no por falta alguna de tus dones, sino por tratarse de una bendición que nos fue otorgada en el momento en que nos enamoramos y que me fue arrebatada una noche cualquiera. El destino es como la plaga: no repara en rango o riqueza... caminamos por la vida oyéndolo, pero no escuchándolo.

Soy víctima de lo impropio, las respuestas las tendré que encontrar solo, puesto que ya no soy bienvenido en la casa de Dios; pertenezco a una distinción social de mártires personajes de cuentos de terror. En qué momento ocurrió esto? No puedo creer que todo aquello que construí en mi alma, a través de estos años, haya ofendido a Dios de tal forma. Sólo Él sabe que mis pecados obedecieron a mi condición humana y nunca a su desafío, y si este es el castigo que por su divina voluntad es necesario que yo sufra, lo sufriré hasta que Él decida despojarme de la existencia y permitirme estar contigo en Su gloria.

Oh, alma mía! Esta carta, lo sé, es odiosa, y quisiera yo que fuera mentira, pero todo lo que te digo proviene de lo más íntimo de mi alma triste, de mi cuerpo vacío y frío. Es así que me despido de ti, rogando a Dios para que tu vida nunca se cruce con la mía o aquellos de mi estirpe, para que te cuide del pecado y jamás te castigue como lo ha hecho conmigo. Te guardaré en mi alma como el más preciado de los tesoros, como la corona más hermosa de todas, y tan sólo pido que tu recuerdo mío sea el de los días entre los campos que compartimos

Toma estas palabras y hazlas tuyas, mientras yo me interno en la oscuridad y soledad de la larga noche.

(por santiagomarínj. y ricardo guerrero garcía-herreros)

sin título.

2007-07-30T19:15:00.000-07:00

todavía se siente cómo se resquiebra por dentro
todo cae, inevitablemente, y suenan pedazos de cristal chocando entre sí
luego las pisadas que se van
y con ellas tu olor.

Batman: Black or White, Chapter Two

2007-06-24T09:13:00.001-07:00

BATMAN: BLACK OR WHITE

CHAPTER TWO

April 2

In what seems to be another day, the sun slowly sets behind the tall Gotham City’s skyscrapers.
…
Above, the cloud ceiling reflects no Batsignal, as if it’s missing it.
…
Inside his manor, Bruce Wayne contemplates the beautiful sunset, as the sun rays come through the tall windows.
…
Without saying a word, Bruce Wayne turns back and heads towards a grand piano, that stands in the middle of the manor’s living room. He opens its large cage, introducing one of his hands. Then, there is a faint sound, as he pushes a button hidden inside.
…
*CLICK*
…
Without any delay, a tall and antique grandfather’s clock opens immediately revealing a path.
…
The clock’s hands point at seven hours and thirty-nine minutes in the starting night.
…
Inside his Batcave, Gotham City’s favorite playboy walks and passes by a number of giant vaults like closets aligned through a long corridor. Suddenly, he stops in front of one of them.
(At the dead end a vault can be seen with the Batman emblem on it).
…
After entering the secret code the vault opens, showing its contents: rows of different kinds of clothes hanging, wrapped in plastic. Everything is perfectly organized.
…
Under his Bruce Wayne alter-ego, the Batman chooses one (the tag “Matches Malone” can be read on it).
He proceeds to disguise himself with it:
…
First comes the make-up, consisting of changing his hair color and gluing a thin mustache, along with a scar that runs up from his neck to the half of his left cheek.
…
Then he gets dressed, with a reddish brown suit and a fedora.
…
Finally, he puts on a pair of dark glasses and a golden tooth, assuming the Matches Malone persona.
…
Later in his Batcave’s garage, the Batman (concealed under the Matches Malone’s disguise) walks in front of a vast variety of cars and other different ways of transportation.
…
(Small Search and Rescue helicopters and gliders, as well as other types of aircrafts can be seen).
…
He keeps walking until he stops in front of a black, 1947, two-doors, Lincoln Continental Coupe.
…
The car looks used, though in perfect condition.
…
Matches Malone sits on the driver’s seat and starts the engine. It roars in response, and he drives away.
…
Seen from above, Gotham City’s Downtown flashes with life. Its neon signs and colorful pedestrians populate in what would be an otherwise moonless night. High-class prostitutes and their pimps; gamblers and thieves; tourists and executives; all cross the streets indistinctly. Luxury cars and taxis speed down and up the avenues and boulevards.
…
Matches Malone, comfortably inside his automobile, drives away from the top-class shore of Downtown and heads into Gotham City’s darkest entrails, directly to the East End.
…
The East End was born in the Twenties, in a time known to history as the Prohibition era in the United States of America. Within those years, gangsters smuggling alcohol established their base of operations inside and beneath these buildings. The first and upper floors were used as the offices and headquarters for their legitimate businesses, a façade which served as a front for their criminal activity. The basements, in turn, stored great amounts of moonshine. Dug tunnels connecting the basements made easier the traffic and hiding of the illegal booze.
…
When the Prohibition ended with the ratification of the Twenty-first Amendment in nineteen thirty three, the remaining gangsters saw an opportunity and moved along with their millions of dollars to new shores, namely, those of Downtown.
…
The less fortunate became its permanent residents: the homeless and vagrants, the unemployed hit men and ruffians, the lowlifes and whores, the scoundrels and pickpockets.
…
The old and then uninhabited buildings were either demolished or remodeled: warehouses were turned into porn cinemas; offices into striptease clubs and brothels; small neighborhood stores into sleazy bars and nightclubs.
…
As for the basements’ tunnels, their former owners were intelligent enough to block them up and forget about them. Their existence became an urban legend, even to the police force of the city.

To these days, twenty or thirty years later, very few people know of their existence; among them is the Batman.
…
Matches Malone arrives to the East End, leaving his car in a parking lot. With his hands inside his jacket’s pockets, he crosses the street and calmly walks through the poverty and the disease which abounds on every sidewalk. Half-naked girls and women offer their services interestedly, while beggars only extend their dirty hands, without saying a word or looking at him.
…
After a while of strolling through back-alleys, he eventually makes it to the destination of his trek: a juke joint called “Jezebel”, where mobsters and goons gather to share drinks and, if inquired politely, a little information.
…
A bouncer standing in front of the entrance recognizes him and steps aside, ignoring the order to frisk each entering customer.
…
Inside of this place the cigarette’s smoke casts a murky cloud. Drinks come and go as the bartender incessantly serves them, while the waitresses work hard to keep the clients satisfied. Two drunk men tussle to play their desired songs on the jukebox. For the time being, Lois Armstrong’s “Mack the Knife” fills the atmosphere with its outstanding jazz.
…
Despite the dim light, Matches Malone recognizes some unfriendly gazes staring at him.
…
He grins, and his golden tooth shines.

Matches Malone (to himself): SIX TOUGH LOOKING GUYS, HUH? SURE THEY HAVE SOMETHING TO HIDE.
Matches Malone (to himself): I’LL START WITH THEM.
…
Without neither hesitation nor haste, he moves towards them.
…
The antisocials take notice, and prepare themselves for the uninvited guest.
…
Upon arriving, Matches Malone takes his fedora off, in sign of respect. His interlocutors, on the contrary, lean on their elbows against the table, showing mistrust.
…
The meanest looking guy is the first to speak:

Mr. White: I’LL BE DAMN, IF IT ISN’T MATCHES MALONE!

He inhales from his cigar, blowing a dragon’s breath of smoke.
…
Mr. White: LONG TIME NO SEE.
Mr. White: WHAT BRINGS YOU DOWN HERE?
…
Matches Malone: I HEARED THERE’S BEEN A MURDER.
Matches Malone: MY BOSS IS CONCERNED HOW THIS EVENTUALITY COULD ALTER THE BUSINESS.
…
For a brief moment there is an uncomfortable silence. Matches Malone takes a match and puts it in his mouth.
…
Matches Malone: MURDERS AREN’T GOOD FOR THE BUSINESS, FOR THE BUSINESS DEALS WITH LIVE WOMEN, NOT DEAD ONES.
Matches Malone: AND DEAD WOMEN CALL POLICE’S ATTENTION, AND POLICE’S ATTENTION ISN’T GOOD FOR THE BUSINESS,
Matches Malone: NO IT ISN’T.
Matches Malone: THEY MAY BE PAYED OFF, BUT SUCH AN INCIDENT IS STRONG ENOUGH TO DRIVE RIVAL GANGS TO WAGE WAR FOR TURF,
Matches Malone: AND THEN POLICE WILL HAVE TO MEDDLE,
Matches Malone: NO MATTER WHAT.
…
Mr. Brown: I SEE.
Mr. Brown: AND WHAT YOU WANNA KNOW ‘BOUT THIS MURDER?
…
Mr. White: WOULD YOU SHUT THE HELL UP, YOU IDIOT?!

He pounds the table with his fist.
…
A man among the brutes finishes his drink. He stands up. His voice is hoarse, although he speaks in a gentle manner:

Mr. Blonde: LET’S CALM DOWN, WOULD YA? WHY DON’T WE GO OUTSIDE AND HAVE SOME FRESH AIR? ALL THIS SMOKE SEEMS TO START TO GET TO OUR NERVES.
Mr. Blonde: IT’S TOO CROWDED IN HERE.
Mr. Blonde: LET’S GO OUT…
…
He makes sure Matches Malone can see the gun in his hand, hidden under his coat, pointing at him.

Mr. Blonde: …COME ON, BE A GOOD LAD.
…
Seven men leave the bar. Matches Malone walks in front, with his hands up; Mr. Blue and Mr. Orange escort him, with their guns pointing straight at him; Mr. Pink, Mr. Brown, Mr. Blonde and Mr. White follow them closely.
…
The alley is narrow, with trashcans scattered alongside the walls.
…
Mr. White: YOU’RE GONNA TELL US EVERYTHIN’ Y’KNOW ABOUT THIS MURDER.
Mr. White: YOU CAME ASKIN’ QUESTIONS, BUT IT SEEMS TO ME IT’S YOU WHO HAVE THE ANSWERS.

Matches Malone: I KNOW NOTHIN’.

Mr. White: SHUT UP.
Mr. White: YOU’LL HAVE PLENTY OF TIME TO TALK LATER.
…
He takes one last blow from his cigarette before throwing it to the ground and stepping on it.
…
Mr. White: KEEP WALKIN’, THE CAR’S JUST AHEAD.

Matches Malone: WHERE’RE YOU TAKIN’ ME? WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO TO ME?

Mr. White: YOU’LL KNOW SOON ENOUGH, MY PARTNER WILL TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOU.
…
Mr. Blonde: “ALL YOU CAN DO IS PRAY FOR A QUICK DEATH, WHICH YOU AIN’T GONNA GET”.

Matches Malone: THERE’S NO NEED TO PRAY:
Matches Malone: NO ONE’S DYING TONITE.
…
Before any one could react to his words, Matches Malone turns around and grabs the two nearest thugs strongly by their arms, impeding them to use their weapons.
…
The one to his right receives a knee-kick in the stomach. He falls to the ground.
…
The one to his left is tossed upside down against the wall. He lands on his head.
…
The two are left unarmed and unconscious.
…
Next, with blistering speed, he grabs a trashcan’s cap and throws it at two of the four men remaining.
…
They too end up unarmed and out of combat, as the cap hits Mr. Pink in the hand, ricocheting against Mr. Brown’s head.
…
Mr. Brown falls to the ground, blood spurting from his forehead. Mr. Pink is propelled back against some trashcans, as a consequence of the impact.
…
He crawls for cover.
…
Panic strikes Mr. White’s and Mr. Blonde’s face.
…
Too clumsy and slow to stand a chance, they are bested easily. It only takes one more kick…
…
…and one last jab.
…
Only one, of the initial six men, remains conscious to speak. He is a coward miscreant with big blue eyes and big teeth, enclosed by a big mouth. He has a thin moustache and a chin beard. His head, in relation to his features, is somehow small.
…
He moans and whines, crouched in a corner, because of the pain in his hand. He holds it against his chest with his other arm.

Mr. Pink: WHAT THE HELL!? YOU BROKE MY WRIST, OH GOD, YOU BROKE MY WRIST!
Mr. Pink: I’LL KILL YOU, GODDAMMIT! I’LL KILL YOU!
…
Matches Malone walks towards him, like he had all the time in the whole world. Then, kindly, grabs his healthy arm; Mr. Pink, confused and without knowing what to do, merely contemplates…

Matches Malone: THAT ISN’T A BROKEN WRIST, YOU’RE JUST SORE.
…
Following this, he breaks the felon’s wrist with a swift and firm movement:
…
*CRAC*
…
Matches Malone: NOW, THAT’S A BROKEN WRIST.
…
Mr. Pink: AAAAWWWWWWW! MY WRIST, YOU BROKE MY GODDAMNED WRIST!
Mr. Pink: I’LL TALK, I’LL TALK! I’LL SING WHATEVER YOU WANT ME TO!
Mr. Pink: PLEASE, PLEASE I BEG YOU, DON’T HURT ME ANYMORE, YOU BROKE MY WRIST! AWWWWW, MY WRIIIISST…
…
Matches Malone (to himself): SURE IT HURTS.
Matches Malone (to himself): WE TALK.
Matches Malone (to himself): HE TELLS ME EVERYTHING HE KNOWS.

Batman: Black or White, Chapter One

2007-06-24T09:06:00.000-07:00

BATMAN: BLACK OR WHITE

CHAPTER ONE

9:11 p.m.

Alone, in the middle of a dark and filthy alley stands the Batman. With his eyes nailed to the floor, he stares at the lifeless body lying in front of him.

Batman (to himself): HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO WITNESS THE SAME SCENE?
…
From a distance, commissioner Gordon and his policemen struggle to keep away the curious citizens. The area is isolated with police tape.
…
Crouching next to the body, the Batman examines the corpse without touching it.

Batman (to himself): NO. IT’S NOT THE SAME, IT’S ALWAYS DIFFERENT. THE NEXT BEING MORE TERRIFYING THAN THE LATTER.
Batman (to himself): THIS TIME, A GIRL NO OLDER THAN THIRTEEN OR FOURTEEN YEARS OLD, STRANGLED. THE MARKS IN HER NECK SUGGEST A LEATHER BELT WITH SOME KIND OF ENGRAVINGS ON IT.
Batman (to himself): FURTHER STUDIES ARE NECESSARY TO CONFIRM THIS FIRST HYPOTHESIS.
…
Commissioner Gordon comes to his encounter.

Gordon: HOW BAD IS IT THIS TIME?
…
The Batman disappears into the night, without turning back.

Batman: NOT BAD…
Batman: EVIL.
…
Batman: I’LL TAKE HER WITH ME.
…
Commissioner Gordon tries in vain to repress a feeling of both exhaustion and annoyance.
…
Later on that night, the corpse of the young girl lies on a metal surface of what seems to be the Batman’s personal forensics room. All necessary instruments lie perfectly ordered at hand.
…
First, he takes photographs of the marks on her neck.
…
Then he proceeds to remove the clothes from the body, discovering new marks all over it resembling the ones on the neck, especially near her tiny breasts.
…
Batman: A MOUTH MADE THESE.
…
He takes more photographs.
…
Last, he holds a scalpel in his hand and buries it deep behind each of the girl’s ears. The two incisions meet at the sternum. From there he continues to cut a line running through her body, ending in the pubic bone.
…
He takes the skin and peels it back.
…
Batman: THE AUTOPSY EFFECTIVELY CONFIRMED THE CAUSE OF DEATH AS OF ASPHYXIA; CONTRARY TO MY FIRST HYPOTHESIS, IT WAS NOT BECAUSE A BELT WAS USED TO STRANGLE HER: SOMEONE WITH A GREAT STRENGTH HELD HIS HAND AGAINST HER MOUTH.
Batman: THE EXAMINATION REVEALED THE MARKS WERE DONE A WHILE BEFORE HER DEATH.
Batman: TIME RANGES FROM TWO TO THREE DAYS.
Batman: ALSO, THERE ARE NO EVIDENT SIGNS OF RAPE,
Batman: THOUGH THE GIRL IS NOT A VIRGIN.
…
Walking around the room, he continues:

Batman: THE BELT WASN’T FOUND NEAR THE CRIME SCENE.
Batman: NEITHER A CLUE OF WHO COMMITTED THE ASSASINATION.
Batman: ABOUT HER IDENTITY: NO IDENTIFICATION OR WALLET WERE FOUND.
…
The Batman leaves the room and walks down a hallway leading to the Main Computer. While staring at the bats above him, he keeps talking:

Batman: DATE: APRIL THE 1ST.
…
His eyes widen with surprise.

Batman: WAIT!
…
…as he lowers his head, showing defeat.

Batman: THIS CAN’T BE A JOKE…
Batman: APRIL’S FOOL…
…
The Batman removes his cowl.
…
He sits down and takes a deep breath.
…
Utterly alone, he leans against the back of his chair in the deep underground, dark Batcave.

Batman: STOP RECORDING.

el día de la bestia

2006-06-26T19:06:00.000-07:00

hoy sentí algo que nunca antes había experimentado en mi vida.

hoy dejé de ser un hijo de dios.

hoy estuve sentado durante algo más de una hora hablando con un obispo de bogotá. una semana antes había llamado a pedir una cita para poder entrevistarme con él. muy bien, la pregunta "qué te trae por aquí santiago?" condujo a la respuesta "roberto, quiero que me excomulgues".

finalmente, me dijo, yo ya NO hacía parte de la iglesia católica apostólica romana. me estrechó la mano, me posó el brazo por encima del hombro y me dijo que "sentía mucho que no hubiera sido capaz de transferirme su experiencia de la fe", y que si por algún motivo yo descubría la razón por la cual eso había sido así, que por favor se lo manifestara.

salí caminando del lugar como mareado, y me entró de repente una necesidad por respirar muy lento y muy profundo, como si me hiciera falta el aire; sentía que necesitaba respirar todo el aire que había perdido.

se me fue entrando por los poros un sentimiento de libertad que no había experimentado antes... que se tradujo en tranquilidad... que se tradujo en felicidad...

caminé de vuelta y me monté en el primer transmilenio que pasó, esperando que me dejara cercquita de la estación más cercana de la casa de gina. me dejó en la 85: perfecto. sentía tanta energía dentro de mí que me tuve que ir trotando hasta la su casa. llegué sudando e igual tenía energía.

compramos cervezas y guaro. brava para mí y antioqueño para ellos. luego porro y entonces llegamos al momento preciso en el que les escribo esto y estoy totalemente sonriente y tranquilo, contándoles este día de locos.

p.d. acompañando a mi papá a ir a hacer vueltas eternas de banco, me encontré 50mil pesos tirados en el piso. fui a otro banco y los cambié por billetes de 10mil. monté en bus y fui donde "monseñor" roberto. luego llegué donde gina. pedí una caja de "peches". me debían plata así que me la pagaron con cerveza. tomé y fumé y entonces me fui a escribir un blog.

acabo de escribir ese blog. hoy tengo rumba en eje bar, pero sé que la persona que quiero ver no va a ir.

Monday, June 26, 2006

manu chao en vivo! bogotá marzo 8!

2006-03-09T11:33:00.000-08:00

muy bien, son aproximadamente las 6 de la tarde y me encuentro haciendo una fila que parece nunca va a terminar. de pronto las 3 cervezas que me tomé comienzan a llenar mi vejiga a reventar, pero no puedo salirme de la fila, verdad? y si le pregunto a uno de esos policías que me deje orinar en el potrero que están cuidando? o si mejor me espero a que se vayan a dar una vuelta y entonces orino? ay no, mierda... que es ese dolor... eso es un riñón... tengo tantas ganas de orinar que me está doliendo un riñón!!!

"marín, qué te pasa?"
"las cervezas... estoy que me orino..."
"sí, tienes una cara... pobresito, ests concentrando todas tus fuerzas en eso, no?"

pasan unos cuantos minutos, no tengo idea cuántos, pero parecen equivalentes a una era geológica... por fin me requisan y rezo para que el policía no me coja las huevas, porque una fuente de ácido úrico podra estallar en cualquier momento en todas direcciones. no! no me cojen las huevas! Gloria In Exelcis Deo!

entro y al fin! orinoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo... ahhhhh...

ahora sí, al concierto. nos encontramos el grupo de amigos y esperamos a que se termine el grupito de teloneros. acaban. pasan minutos otra vez, pero esta vez no tan largos. apagan las luces y todo el mundo comienza a gritar... sí!!! sale manu chao!!! alza las manos y se pone a cantar!!!

"hoy llllloooooooréé y llllooooooooréé"

es una canción nueva, increíble, del putas!!! pasa a la siguiente canción, comienzan suave, pero de pronto aceleran y todos estamos gritando, cantando y saltando como dementes... jueputa!!! toca dos horas de música!!! canta todo, absolutamente todo!!!

"se acabóóóó se acabóóóó se acabóóóó!!!"
y el público "NOOOOOOOO!!!"

salen del escenario y todos aplaudimos. vuelven y tocan tres canciones más. siento que el corazón se me va a salir saltando feliz del pecho... tomo aire, me recuesto en el hombro de algún amigo... bien bien, están cantando "infinita tristeza", eso me dará tiempo de recuperar el aliento... cuando "tu-pa tu-pa tu-pa!!!" aceleran la maldita canción y saltar saltar saltar otra vez como dementes...

se despiden ahora sí, "gracias colombia, gracias mi gente! hasta siempre! hasta la próxima!

otra vez todos aplaudimos y gritamos... y VUELVE A SALIR!!!

tocan "mala vida" a 300 kilómetros por hora... demonios, esto es demasiado, voy a necesitar un transplante de corazón!!! siguen con "king kong five" y "king of the bongo"... alguien por favor deme respiración boca a boca!!!

ahora manu chao sale del escenario y la gritadera no es de este mundo. están tocando la melodía típica de manu chao, la de "je ne t'aime plus" y la mitad de las canciones del "esperanza". se despide el bajista, y todos le agradecemos la energía. sale el tipín de los teclados, y más gritería. sale el de los timbales dando saltos. quedan solos guitarra y batería... se va la batería y queda el guitarrista, que hace un par de canciones sacó la guitarra acústica y se estuvo haciendo unos solos absurdos... se queda tocando, bajando el tempo poco a poco... baja y baja hasta que se calla... y vuelve manu chao!!!

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
los gritos se tienen que oir hasta en chía!!!

vuelve entonces tooooda la banda, felices saltando.
"les presento a garbanzito, mano negra presente!!!"
pues muy bien, garbanzito es un gordito lo más de simpático que ha tocado los timbales durante todo el concierto como un rey. ahora manu chao le entrega el micrófono y garbanzito le da el puesto en los timbales... qué putas? qué va a cantar? "sid'h bibi!!!" y la cantan perfecta!!! me voy a enloquecer!!! otra vez saltar como loco, cantar como loco, dios, tanta emoción no la aguanta mi cuerpo!!!

para terminar dan otra tandita de "radiobemba!radiobemba!radiobemba!" y AHORA SÍ se van... ooooh, dios. apagan las luces y las vuelven a prender... por fin nos vuelve el alma al cuerpo. salimos felices, comentando las canciones, impresionados de lo que acabamos de prescenciar: este ha sido uno de los das más felices de mi vida.

por último salimos, y está lloviendo. nos encontramos todos y a buscar taxi. yo termino yéndome con rivas... no pasan taxis. a rivas se le ocurre una maravillosa idea: "oiga, vámonos caminando hasta detrás del campín y allá cogemos taxi donde no haya tanta gente" "vale rivas, ud dirá, yo no tengo ni puta idea de qué será mejor hacer... yo voto por transmilenio" "marín, sabe la cantidad de transbordos que nos toca hacer para llegar a su casa en transmilenio?!?!" "bueno bueno, caminemos pues hasta el campín"

pues bien, los invito a que se vayan caminando un diíta de estos desde el palacio de los deportes hasta el campín, bajo una de esas lluviecitas capitalinas donde se le mete a uno el frío por los huesos.
llegamos por fin al campín y, saben qué? casi no pasan taxis, y los que pasan recojen a pasajeros tales como un gordo infame que se estaba comiendo un pincho de la calle (no sobra decir que de carne de perro) gritando "yurleidy, véalo véalo, el taxi!" "marbella, véalo véalo, el taxi!"

rivas y yo, parados bajo la lluvia. empapados. transcurre media hora y ya han pasado 20 taxis recogiendo gordos infames o señoras envueltas en plásticos para protegerse de la lluvia.

"rivas, por qué putas no nos para un taxi?". rivas va y se acerca a uno que está vacío. el amable ciudadano le explica que no nos lleva porque estamos mojados... Y ES QUE ACASO ESE GORDO HIJUEPUTA ES A PRUEBA DEL AGUA!?!? EL PLÁSTICO DE ESA SEÑORA NO MOJA!?!?

dice rivas "lo mejor de todo es que lo único que no tenemos mojado es el culo..."

por fin para un taxista. nos lleva a mi apartamento. le pagamos GUSTOSOS. me bajo y le digo a rivas "podría mamársela a ese tipo por traernos" y rivas "yo pensé en hornearle un ponque y decirle -no sé si sea un poco apresurado, pero mirá, es para ti-".

nos reímos como unas pelotas y damos por terminada la noche.

"it's a long, it's a long, it's a long long night"

radiobemba!radiobemba!radiobemba!

2006-03-08T14:26:00.000-08:00

son casi las tres de la tarde, y estoy en un grado de morronga absurdo. dentro de una o dos horas van a llegar amigos a mi apartamento; tomaremos cerveza y fumaremos marihuana. de música habré puesto un concierto inédito que me regaló mi primo, de manu chao en mendoza... esta noche es de PATCHANKA!!!

para todos los que alcanzaron a comprar la boleta, antes que se acabaran, NOS VEMOS ALLÁ MORENO!!!

p.d. cambiando de tema, me ha ido muy bien con la audiencia de este blog. espero que no haya sido solamente suerte de principiante... CONCIERTO DE MANU CHAO MALDITA SEA!!! ME VOY A ENLOQUECER!!!

in nominus amici

2006-03-02T10:14:00.000-08:00

como dije, marzo se presenta con una serie de... no sé ni cómo llamarlas, pero la primera está aquí: hace menos de un año uno de mis mejores amigos murió de un tumor en el cerebro. le dió de un momento a otro y se lo llevó en un término de dos años. hoy es el primer cumpleaños que pasamos sin él. paradójica o irónicamente (no sé bien cuál de las dos), el último año de su enfermedad nos unimos mucho. salimos a comer, fuimos a fincas, pasamos más tiempo juntos. me ví en situaciones tales como vestirlo o ayudarle a ir al baño, pues el tumor afectaba su motricidad, y a veces su memoria y otras actividades del pensamiento... en fin.

las personas lo llamaban por muchods nombres, todos de cariño. le decían lu, lucho, tobi o tobar. yo le decía negrito. bueno, pues negrito, me haces mucha falta hermano, hoy te pensaremos todos.

un abrazo.

siempre hay una primera vez...

2006-03-01T07:53:00.000-08:00

nunca he escrito un blog, y sinceramente los que he leído no me han interesado realmente. tal vez por eso no me animo a escribir, porque no encuentro qué de mi vida podría resultar interesante para que los demás lo leyeran... pero ya ven, siempre hay una primera vez para todo, y esta parece ser mi primera vez incursionando en el mundo de los blog.
qué tengo para contar? bueno, este año empezó con el pie izquierdo (nada personal contra los zurdos) y ahora que comienza marzo, bueno, se vienen otra cantidad de cosas encima, que no sé cómo irán a resultar. supongo que si veo que la gente lee esto me animaré a seguir contando de qué cosas se tratan y cómo van saliendo.

creo que ya es suficiente para una primera vez.

buen viento y buena mar.